Poetry.

[Devonaire]

Ok, I am not that good at poetry but I do love to write... I wrote this a few days ago and need some comments on it. What can I do to improve and whatnot, ok?


GAME
It's sad to say that people change when there's no good reason.
They feel the need to fill the greed that someone else keeps caged.
Unfortunate souls with no where to go, no one left to love them
They don't see that there's more they could be and live their lives in a good way.
They lie to themselves, and don't even know.
Get lost in themselves till there's no place to go.
Why do you give in when they tell you they're right?
I'd rather die than live such a life.
Amazing to think that someone could control
the life of another by the wounds that they hold.
It's cruel and unkind to impress your own mind
upon the one you love and who's give you the time
the time in a world that is so quickly fading
it's carries a short life and it's coming to an end
but you hold onto that person and you choke them to death
you keep them under the water till they've had their last breathe.
I can't stand here and watch, I won't let you get away
with the things that you've done, the evil words that you say.
Not in my lifetime can I let you do such a thing.
I will capture your soul and then throw away the key.
You evil intentions will be destroyed by my force
and you'll release the ones I love that you've held with no choice.
Give it up, your fight is over
No one cares anymore.
They don't watch your antics
and they don't listen to your words.
They want nothing more to do with you
Goodbye they say your name
They walk away and there's nothing you could do
You've lost all your pawns in this game.

[fedekiller]

its awasome ^^ gj!  :D

[Devonaire]

thank ewe! was there anything you didn't like about it???

[fedekiller]

na i like it xx its nice :D

[Kiss The Noise]

I find it good, except, at some parts of the poem, I can feel you fading of topic of the true purpose. I really like how you conlcuded the ending though, except I didn't feel the ending went good with this exact poem. But it still all flows pretty good, and is completly relatable, and is really good. I just have problems looking at the title, and thinking this poem is called game. I don't think the title suits it much, but It isb't my place to title it, but It was an amazing poem

[Mizu]

It's very nice although it seems to drabble a little bit. Maybe cut it down or add some new topics in it?